


Just Give Me a Reason

by MercuryWilliamson (MementoMoriPontifexMortis)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Feels, Clint Has Issues, Clint Needs a Hug, Clint and Pepper are friends in this and are close, F/M, Feels, Natasha Feels, Pepper gives romantic advice, Romantic Angst, Slightly - Freeform, im still horrible at tagging, mentions of child abuse, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:17:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MementoMoriPontifexMortis/pseuds/MercuryWilliamson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint doesn't say it, Natasha does and we learn that relationships are hard to understand. [Written cause I'm tired of all the fics where Clint says it first and Natasha doesn't.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Give Me a Reason

**Author's Note:**

> As it says in the summary, this was written because me and my sister was talking then I had a dream and after reading so many fics where Clint's the one to say it first, I got annoyed. Like I know but I wanted to have a story where Natasha says it first, not Clint. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm really nervous about sharing this story as it's only up due to peer pressure.. but really, hope you enjoy reading it! 
> 
> Don't Own. Never Will.

~*~

Clint doesn't say it. 

Never in their 7 year, 2 months, 6 hour, 53 seconds relationship has he ever said the three words that Natasha wants to hear more than anything. He knows it but he can't drag himself to say those words. Love is for children, he always told her, and he's not a child. Natasha tells him that the Red Room told her things like that and he had flinched away from her for a second before calming himself. He didn't want to be like that place for the fiery haired woman but he wouldn't change his thoughts because she decided she wanted to feel something like that. 

Especially since love _was_ for children, the ones who deluded themselves with visions of sugar plums and roses and weddings and things like that. Yes, Clint is romantic with Natasha because he feels romance for her but not love. 

He can't because his mother used to say that she loved him and Barney but when their father came at them with belts and fists, she would just stand off to the side. 

“Clint.” Natasha says in front of him, the rest of the team on the other side of the training room. She's waiting for some kind of blow out from him, but he won't let that side out. 

“Yes?” He asks, “What is it?” 

“Clint.” She says yet again and Clint wants to get angry, how dare she corner him like this. 

Breathing though, because he's not his father and he wants to hear what she has to say, he waits for her. Waits for her to finish what she has to tell him so he can go running. 

“Did you hear me?” She asks, “I know you said you don't believe it in but I love you.” 

“Ok.” Clint answers before pushing past her and past the rest of the team (including that Winter Soldier guy that Natasha and Rogers brought back from one of their missions). He almost runs into the elevator and pushes the ground floor button, ignoring that he isn't the only one there. 

“Clint, are you okay?” He hears Pepper asks, but he can't answer her because he's going crazy. Why would Natasha say that, knowing what she did and why he didn't believe in it. 

Pepper reaches out for him and touches him gently on the arm and Clint tries to swallow the fear and the sickness in his throat because it must have taken a lot for Natasha to swallow all her problems to say those words and here he is, walking away. 

“Clint.” Pepper says a little more forcefully, “What's the matter? Are you sick or something.” And like that the elevator stops and Clint drops to the ground. 

“She said she loved me.” Clint mutters, “She said she loves me.” 

“Who?” Pepper asks and then she's bending down to get in his eye line, “Natasha said that?” 

He nods blankly because he can't do anything else. Pepper leans forward and hugs him. “Oh!” There's a smile on her face until she looks at him more closely, “And... You don't like that?” 

“My mother told me she loved me and she ignored the abuse; she said my father loved us but he beat us black and blue. My brother said he loved me, he betrayed me...” Everyone who has ever said those three words have screwed him left and right. 

“And now that Natasha has said it, you're worried she's going to hurt you?” Pepper, sweet Pepper has taken off her shoes and dropped to sit right next to him, hand on his arm. “She wouldn't.” 

“And a mother would?” 

“Sometimes.” She shrugs, “But Natasha won't. She cares more than she should. When she was here as Natalie she said she had someone, someone she cared for. Her only family.” Pepper looks at him, “She spoke so highly about him, some guy named James Monroe. Said he was her fíance.” 

“James Monroe.” One of the aliases he has with her; Natasha going as Mary. Those aliases are married; two years, trying for children, lives in Bethesda. James and Mary Monroe, 30 and 28 respectively. 

“Yup.” Pepper laughs, “She said he was a magician in the kitchen and when you guys came here and you cooked for us that one night, I knew it was you she was talking about.” There's a moment of silence. “You don't notice it but you look at her with stars in your eyes. You're like a little kid.” 

“Love is for children, Ms. Potts.” Clint grounds out. 

“So?” 

“I'm not a child, I'm an assassin.” He clarifies. “Me and Natasha aren't like the rest of you, we don't get that.” 

“Why not.” Pepper retorts and when the archer opens his mouth she continues, “So you aren't like us. You've killed people, you've got that ledger or whatever Natasha talks about. So? Does that honestly mean you aren't entitled to the same feelings and emotions we humans are? Clint, you aren't an assassin first, you're human and you've been hurt.” 

“But --” 

She holds up a hand and gives him a look that he's only seen her give Stark. “I'm not done.” She tells him before adding, “Does Natasha even know all about why you don't say it?” A small shrug and Clint wants to explain that he's told Natasha all about some things but left other things out. 

“Kinda.” 

Pepper nods and she's quiet for a minute, mulling over Clint's answer. “So don't say I love you.” Like it's the easiest thing in the world. “Don't say it Clint, but don't walk away either. Let her say it all she wants. Let her scream it and cry it and mutter it but don't tell her to keep it inside. Natasha won't hurt you and you need to see that but it won't be easy. She comes to girl nights with Jane and Darcy, we talk. She understood that you might not say it back but she felt like she had to.” 

“Ms. Potts, please.” Clint murmurs and Pepper shakes her head. 

“Natasha doesn't care what you say, as long as you don't walk away.” And just like that the elevator is starting up again and Pepper is grabbing her shoes from the floor. “Clint, I can't tell you everything because relationships are all about push and pull but I can tell you that sometimes people just need to say things even when they know all they're gonna get back is silence.” Then she's sliding out onto the ground floor and Clint slowly moves to get up before deciding that it's not worth it. 

“JARVIS, can you take me to whatever floor Natasha is on.” 

“I can, Mr. Barton.” JARVIS voice, smooth as it always is. The ride up to whatever floor is slow and Clint calms himself so when Natasha decides to kick his ass he won't fight back. 

The door to the elevator slides open and Natasha drops to the ground in front of him. “Clint?” She asks, just as Pepper did minutes ago, “JARVIS told us the elevator stopped abruptly and I got worried.” 

“Say it again.” Clint breathes, “Please just say it again.” 

“Clint?” Natasha looks surprised but she gets what he means and she whispers those words that had hurt both of them before. So he isn't the strongest one out of them two, Natasha being able to deal with her fear better than he was showed that to him. “Clint, I love you.” 

“Natasha...” 

She puts a finger up to his lips, “You don't have to.” She explains and Clint's scared, frightened really but he wants her to know something. 

“I wouldn't know how to.” He declares. “I can't.” 

“Then don't.” Natasha simplifies. “I don't want you to say it if you won't mean it.”

She leans forward to place her forehead against his and Clint doesn't think when he puts their lips together. “I can't say it yet.” Clint discloses against her lips. 

“That's fine.”

{The End}


End file.
